She wasn't kidding. QaF is about four gay men who are all friends and a hot little twink one of them picks up and deflowers. It's also got a couple of lesbians as primary supporting characters. It's lauded as the first show that has an entirely homosexual main cast, and let me tell you, the "breeders" aren't represented well, when they show up at all. And it's got lots of nudity, lots of sex, lots of m/m kissing. If you like that sort of thing, it's definitely hot.
The Wikipedia entry about the show says something that I find fascinating:
The network's initial marketing of the show was primarily targeted at gay male audiences, yet a sizeable segment of the viewership turned out to be straight women.Whoa! Big shock here, people! A certain segment of the straight female population loves romances between gay men!
This is something that is NOT a shock to anyone who knows anything about Slash fiction, which originated from a reference to the "/" punctuation between "Kirk/Spock" fan fiction written by and for women that depicted Kirk and Spock in a sexual and romantic relationship. This is also not news to the producer of Brokeback Mountain who told Ang Lee, the director of the movie about a pair of gay cowboys, that their core audience was not gay men, but rather straight women (although five years of experience runs between the makers of QaF and the producer of BbM, so hindsight is indeed 20/20). And male/male erotica (or m/m/f) is certainly the growth industry in the online erotica publishing houses. In an interview with the Smart Bitches, two editors from Ellora's Cave said:
And an up-and-coming genre that we are eagerly acquiring is m/m erotic romance, as well as m/m/f ménage.So, what's up with that? Why might women be attracted to gay male romance and/or gay male sex?
Because, if, as I argue in my article*, romances are actually about watching the hero figure out and confess his feelings, if they're about watching him move from the "masculine economy of use" to the "feminine economy of exchange," then watching TWO men have to figure it out for and with each other is more than twice as wonderful as watching one man figure it out for and with a woman. As Meghan Daum says:
With Jack and Ennis, however, there's no woman to pick up the emotional slack, and they're forced to experience their feelings without the benefit of female translation or analysis. In other words, they are (at least for each other) as emotionally available as it gets.That's not actually the point of my post, however. ::sigh:: My point--and I do have one, to rip off Ellen Degeneres shamelessly--is to speculate on why it's the complete jerk alpha male in QaF, Brian Kinney, who is most attractive to everyone, both in the show and in the audience.
If women are attracted to romances to watch the men realize that they can't survive without love, and if they're attracted to Slash (which, in its purest form, focuses on relationship rather than just sex) and m/m romance to watch TWO men have to deal with the vulnerability of falling in love, then why is the irresistible alpha male quite so irresistible?
Because it's much more impressive to make the rake, the asshole, the user, fall in love than to make the nice guy fall in love. If the one man who refuses to admit that love exists (Brian says in the pilot episode, "Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in so they can get laid. And then they end up hurting each other because it was all based on lies to begin with") can be seen to be emotionally vulnerable, then causing or watching that vulnerability gives a female reader/viewer power over everything that user, that alpha male, represents. A friend of mine recently wrote on her blog:
I want to take a man who doesn't express love and inspire him to express it to *me*.I think this says it perfectly.
This connects, I believe, to my point about m/m romances. Ennis Del Mar is the much more affecting character in Brokeback Mountain, precisely because he's the most emotionally stunted. Watching him deal with his emotions is so much more heart-breaking because he has no idea how to go about doing it. A romance with a HEA would show Jack and Ennis finally able to express their love. Their story is a tragedy, however, precisely because they were never able to verbalize their emotions to each other.
My husband, one of the good guys, was slightly put out over my tongue-dragging, panting interest in the character of Brian Kinney in QaF. He complained that all his life he was told to be considerate of other's feelings, kind, and unselfish, only to find that women are most attracted to the emotionless jerks who treat them like dirt and discard them without a thought, all for the hope that they'll be the one to affect him and make him change his ways. I told him there was a big difference between the fantasy of conquering the alpha male and the reality of having him in your life. After all, I ended up (very happily!) with the nice guy. I just enjoy watching the alpha male get his come-uppance.
*Frantz, Sarah S. G., 2002. "'Expressing' Herself: The Romance Novel and the Feminine Will to Power," in Scorned Literature: Essays on the History and Criticism of Popular Mass-Produced Fiction in America. Eds. Lydia Cushman Schurman and Deidre Johnson. (Connecticut: Greenwood Press) pp. 17-36.
Very interesting post, Sarah.
ReplyDeleteOne of my best friends, a conservative and pretty traditional (and marginally homophobic) married woman, adores QaF AND she's married to an alpha guy. Judging by her response to the show, I think that in addition to the allure of two guys expressing sexual and romantic emotion without the competition of another woman, there may also just be an irresistible titillation in voyueristsically oberserving an aspect of male sexuality that still seems somewhat verboten to mainstream heterosexual women. The taboo is still forbidden enough to generate erotic excitement, but accessible enough through mainstream media outlets to be unthreatening at the same time. And to a lot of women, it's probably a hell of a lot more emotionally familiar than the stereotypical locker room male bonding moment.
And am I the only straight woman in America who DIDN'T fall for Ennis Del Mar's self-destructive denial in "Brokeback Mountain?" Of course I'm also one of those Romance readers who finds a lot of alpha heroes bullying and condescending. Or cleverly disguised she-males, aka the alphas who drag the heroine off to their isolated mountain cabin, where they proceed to draw her a bubble bath, cook her a gourmet dinner, wash every dish *by hand*, and then empathetically anticipate her every emotional and sexual desire.
Lovely post, Sarah. I still remember my shock when I first saw the American version of QaF -- after all when rumour got out that there would be an American version, everybody was sure it would be much tamer than the British one. Because, you know, this is America. So imagine me sitting there and watching the first episode with my mouth hanging open. Did they just show a full frontal??? They just flashed a full frontal!!! OMG, and they showed that on American TV????
ReplyDeleteWith Jack and Ennis, however, there's no woman to pick up the emotional slack, and they're forced to experience their feelings without the benefit of female translation or analysis.
I think for many women it's actually even simpler than that: straight women like men -- and in a gay romance or in a show like QaF they get TWO (or more) for the prize of one! Yay! *ggg*
there may also just be an irresistible titillation in voyueristsically oberserving an aspect of male sexuality that still seems somewhat verboten to mainstream heterosexual women.
And I'd say it's not just, you know, watching two men doing it (and there's certainly lots of that in QaF!), but also getting to observe a part of male sexuality that women normally don't get to see and experience
For me, one of the funny things about Brian Kinney is that he so much remsembles a tortured hero of romance. Much of his character stays hidden during the first few episodes, e.g. his loyalty to his friends, that he would do anything for a friend in need. And the later episodes where you get to see his family and how they deal with his homosexuality (not well) are just heartwrenching.
Sandra--although I've actually only watched three episodes of QaF (already hooked), I've read enough of the online episode summaries to be looking forward to what is revealed about Brian's background. That will Explain All, of course! ;) Yeah, definitely tortured hero material--and you do see that in the first episode when he "pretends" to be able to jump off the hospital roof. Lots of depth there that we just can't help but want to plumb.
ReplyDeleteRobin--I love your description of "she-males." Very cute! And so unfortunately true sometimes.
There are many aspects to Brian's personality that are not particularly attractive, but I think the key to his appeal to women is his undeniable masculinity. He is a gay man, but he's a man, first and foremost. And it comes without the trappings of "maleness." He's not overly muscular, doesn't work out more than necessary, doesn't play sports or watch them. He's arrogant, but doesn't talk about himself constantly. He doesn't feel the need to get into fights to prove himself. He can drive down the street with "faggot" written on his Jeep. Oh yeah, and he can even have sex with a woman if he feels like it.
ReplyDeleteHe will lie about his feelings, but not about much else. He has no self-doubt because he knows he is going to be true to being Brian, whatever the cost. He's good at everything he does and succeeds at just about everything he does. Including getting laid, which he does a lot. It could be that he just gets off on risky behaviors, or that he just sees sex as a need and not an emotional thing.
In fact, he would be the perfect male, if not for the fact that he can also be an unfeeling jerk. But you know that if a guy like Michael can stay his friend for all all those years, there must be something good inside him.
What I like most about Queer as Folk is its friendships. The relationship between Michael and Brian is fascinating. They're friends, but also like a "Band of Brothers," and sometimes like ex-husband and wife. The romantic fortunes of the characters don't affect me as much as the occasional betrayals of friendship. And somehow Brian always comes through for his friends, begrudgingly or not. So I think, for all his faults, he is what he is, and that's what a man should be.
"...cleverly disguised she-males, aka the alphas who drag the heroine off to their isolated mountain cabin, where they proceed to draw her a bubble bath, cook her a gourmet dinner, wash every dish *by hand*, and then empathetically anticipate her every emotional and sexual desire."
ReplyDeleteDamn! There go my anniversary plans. Anybody want to sublet a mountain cabin later this summer?
And I'd say it's not just, you know, watching two men doing it (and there's certainly lots of that in QaF!), but also getting to observe a part of male sexuality that women normally don't get to see and experience
ReplyDeleteYes, absolutely; I was referring to the whole gamut of male interaction on that show. I don't know a woman who sleeps with men who isn't STILL trying to figure them out better, and I think that many straight women view gay men as sort of decoders of male behavior and as ambassadors to a better understanding of straight men (I realize that there are a number of assumptions here I think need to be unpacked and challenged). Plus, if they're sexy AS men, they have a separate erotic appeal as MEN.
Robin--I love your description of "she-males." Very cute! And so unfortunately true sometimes.
I think the she-male alpha exists in a lot of Romance to greater or lesser degree. It was Lori Foster's books, actually, that set the gold standard, so to speak, of that type. I don't think there's anything wrong with these types of heroes, and sometimes they can be very appealing, but I would NOT call them alpha males, and I think doing so helps cloud the whole "alpha" definition. Do Romance readers, for example, primarily associate alpha qualities with dominant physical and sexual qualities, or with behavioral traits? I'm not sure this question has been raised very much, at least not that I've seen.
I don't know a woman who sleeps with men who isn't STILL trying to figure them out better, and I think that many straight women view gay men as sort of decoders of male behavior and as ambassadors to a better understanding of straight men
ReplyDeleteI'm not very comfortable with the idea that one can 'figure them out' as a group, because men are individuals, and while there may be some things that all men have in common (barring castration or other accidents), the suggestion that one might attempt to understand 'men' as a group sets off warnings in my head. My reaction is rather like the one Eric had with regards to the making of assumptions about women (I'm thinking of his comment that 'I'm awfully wary of generalizations about "women's tendency" to do anything', in his blog post about comfort etc).
I wonder if there's been a reversal about gender going on, and where once the philosophers (e.g. Plato) thought men were rational, now it's men who're often depicted as irrational/driven by their hormones, and whereas once women were thought of as mysterious, with men trying to work out 'What thyng is it that wommen moost desiren' (Chaucer, the Wife of Bath's tale), now it's women trying to analyse the signals that men send, to work out what they really mean.
I'm not very comfortable with the idea that one can 'figure them out' as a group, because men are individuals, and while there may be some things that all men have in common (barring castration or other accidents), the suggestion that one might attempt to understand 'men' as a group sets off warnings in my head. My reaction is rather like the one Eric had with regards to the making of assumptions about women (I'm thinking of his comment that 'I'm awfully wary of generalizations about "women's tendency" to do anything', in his blog post about comfort etc).
ReplyDeleteI'm not extolling the virtues of this endeavor, just suggesting that, as you put it, there seems to be a 'what men want' movement, and that pretty much every woman I know (myself included) has made a comment like, "what is up with men?" And yes, the comment is made as a generality, in part, I think, to confirm solidarity among individual women who are looking for recognition and understanding from other women vis a vis their individual relationships with the men in their lives. Of course it's unfairly unversalized, but that's part and parcel of the dynamic, I think (measuring one's own experience against a perceived stereotype for affirmation, comfort, validation, etc.).
Back to the whole QaF thing, when you look at the trope in film and tv of the straight woman & gay male best friend, I think you could do some interesting analysis of how gay males are becoming re-stereotyped via the engagement and interest of straight women viewers.
I think you could do some interesting analysis of how gay males are becoming re-stereotyped via the engagement and interest of straight women viewers.
ReplyDeleteOoh. Wow. Yes. OMG, that would be so cool. And very very interesting!
In regards to QaF, IME it's a fairly accurate depiction of some m/m relationships. And I do mean fairly, LOL, but I think one of the best things about the show is that, especially early on, it demystified homosexual behavior for the heterosexual audience.
ReplyDeleteI think the she-male alpha exists in a lot of Romance to greater or lesser degree. It was Lori Foster's books, actually, that set the gold standard, so to speak, of that type. I don't think there's anything wrong with these types of heroes, and sometimes they can be very appealing, but I would NOT call them alpha males, and I think doing so helps cloud the whole "alpha" definition. Do Romance readers, for example, primarily associate alpha qualities with dominant physical and sexual qualities, or with behavioral traits? I'm not sure this question has been raised very much, at least not that I've seen.
I had to address this, because I agree with the she-male alpha not being truly alpha. Alpha-ness isn't just a bedroom thing, it's an all the time thing, IMO. Now, if you create a character, as in the original post, who opens up/softens to one partner that's not the same thing. But if he's cooking, cleaning, catering, and putting on a pedastal the lady, well that's not quite alpha. Wonderful, LOL, definitely.